Wednesday, September 10, 2014
When I was a kid, 27 just sounded so old. Now that I'm 27, I'm like, I'm just getting started!
Birthdays 25 and 26 made me sad, because I was inching closer to 30, but now I'm like bring on the birthdays!
Growing older is a privilege that not everyone gets to have.
I started out my morning with coffee made by my husband (he makes the best!) and blueberry scones (my favorite!).
This past year was a whirlwind. It was my last year of grad school, commuting an hour and a half away four to five times a week, and full of spending my evenings and weekends hunched over my computer working on assignments. Year 26 came and went, and I'm glad for a new year.
I feel like I finally know who I am, and I'm comfortable in my own skin. I remember when Chase and I first started talking, my cousin and I saw him at Walmart. I only had mascara and eyebrow pencil on and was terrified about seeing him without my usual drag.
My cousin, God love her, grabbed my hand and defiantly walked toward my future husband. "Come on. You've got your eyebrows on — you're OK," she reassured me.
I guess she was right.
Nowadays, I regularly wear a minimal face of makeup. I try to take care of my skin, eat the right things and drink a lot of water, and I'm proud of how my skin looks. I'm fortunate to not have many lines yet, but my laugh lines are my favorite, because they show I've smiled a lot in my life.
For the other less-than-desirable lines, there's always Botox.
I always had this vision of myself when I was younger. When I was older, I saw myself being cute, brunette and spunky...much like a brunette version of my mom. I never saw the pale, ahem porcelain, black-haired, black-wearing, make-up loving person that I am today. I'm most definitely not spunky, but my mother remains the biggest role model in my life. I asked her how to make something the other day, and joked that I was trying to step up my level of domestic goddess-ness to "Teressa" level.
I always knew that I would probably end up doing something a little more creative. I was an only child until the age of 10. I lived away from my cousins and didn't live around a lot of kids my age. I spent a lot of time by myself (which probably explains why I'm such a loner now), and my favorite pasttime was to doodle in a notebook. I loved designing clothes and writing poetry. During class, I created epic works of art instead of taking notes.
And here I am, a writer. I'm not exactly where I want to be with that, but I'm working toward it.
Blogging took a major backseat to graduate school, my thesis, job hunting, new jobs, and I've missed it. My jobs aren't exactly creative, and my creative side is dying!
I've been dreaming that I'm pregnant (which I'm not), and a quick Google search revealed the following:
What do dreams about being pregnant mean?
"At its core, this dream is about creativity," Mead says. "Women literally create new life out of their bodies. If you dream of being pregnant, you are likely craving time to be creative, or 'dreaming up' a new and exciting creative project that will come into existence down the line. This could be as small as a home-based renovation project or a large-scale artistic work."
What can I learn about myself from dreaming about being pregnant?
"Pregnancy dreams are often multi-layered and speak about something inside -- represented by the fetus -- that has not yet been acknowledged or presented to the world," Mead says. "I find that people who have disowned goals and desires often dream of pregnancies. For example, someone who might have wanted to act, but chose the safe path of being a lawyer, may be plagued with pregnancy dreams until he or she takes steps to at least connect with that earlier passion."
Whoa. Explains me perfectly. I definitely took a "safe" job after graduating and even though I like it, I miss creating.
So, I'm about to get on that creative ish, because honestly, the pregnancy dreams are freaking me out.
After all, I'm only 27!
I definitely need to change some things up and revamp the blog, but I just miss writing for fun. I guess that's what a 100-page thesis will do to you!
All of the free time I've had since graduating has made me realize that I don't want to pursue a doctorate. I still don't know what to do with all the free time! When I come home from work, I don't have to work on anything. On the weekends, I can enjoy not being at work. It's fabulous. Not to mention, I think my husband is enjoying me being out of graduate school as well. I think he was about as stressed, if not more, as I was.
And, September is so great (not only because it's my birthday month), but because it signals the beginning of fall. Fall is my absolute favorite (Chase tells me, "Poor little white girl."), and I'm excited to enjoy it this year.
Anyways, enough of the rambling. Here's to a new year, a new blog, and many more years of life, love and makeup :)