WIAW 2: TIU 7 Day Slim Down

First of all, thank you everyone for your kind words about my last blog! It's so refreshing to know that I'm not the only one that struggles with guilt, especially wedding related, as silly as that might be.

So, in the spirit if the new year and the fact that I have been stuffing my face since my wedding, I have been doing Tone It Up's 7 Day Slim Down. If you don't know what Tone It Up is, look it up! I'm notorious for trying out different diets. I'm weird, but I actually enjoy trying out different types of eating. The creators of this program have rockin' bods, so I thought why not give their plan a shot?

Karena and Katrina!

A little bit of motivation for Lindsey and me. Our heads on the TIU girls' bodies. I don't have Photoshop, so I did the bet I could!

 Today's eats are from yesterday, Day 5. The diet is a little extreme and gets worse as the week progresses. The food is kind of boring, but I'm loving how light I'm feeling after one too many pieces of my mom's famous fudge.

The program focuses on 5 meals throughout the day. My bestie Lindsey has been following their plan also and has had great results. I'm doing OK so far, but I'm looking forward to jumping on their "normal" plan, rather than this extreme one.

Anyways, here we go!

A necessity

When I first woke up, I had coffee with almond milk...while working on my writing job...in bed. Before you think I'm lazy (and you'd most certainly be right), I had already woken up with my husband, ironed his clothes, started his truck (because Oklahoma is absolutely frigid right now) and sent him off to work with a thermos full of hot coffee and some Cuties clementines. Can I just say that I love taking care of my husband and want to be a writer who works from home when I grow up?

Recycled (blurry) picture, but I also had a Meta-D drink, which is another tenet of the plan.

M1

My first meal of the day was egg whites, spinach, mushrooms and tomatoes. They should be scrambled together, but I've been eating this every morning and was tiring of the combo. Usually, there would be hot sauce on this (Louisiana Hot Sauce FTW!), but I'm not allowed any salt the last three days, so sadly I had to eat my egg whites and veggies sans sauce. I ate while watching the new episode of Downton Abbey (!!!), so I didn't pay too much attention to breakfast anyways. Can I just say that I'm tired of all the sadness at Downton — I hope this is a happy season!

M2

Meal 2 was half a grapefruit and it was super yummy. The plan allows stevia on your grapefruit, but I think it's silly to add sweetener to fruit. Fruit is nature's candy! :p

M3

Meal 3 was just OK. Chicken, spinach, cucumbers...I could have added balsamic vinegar to it, but I've already had so much of it this week. Even though I love me some BV, I just couldn't, so I ate it dry.

M4

Meal 4 was my favorite! I know it looks gross, so let me explain. They're unsweetened frozen berries, but I heated them up in the microwave for 30 seconds. It makes them taste like pie filling, all sweet and syrupy. Try it!

M5

Meal 5 was OK. I made my husband sweet potatoes with coconut oil and cinnamon (my FAVE), broccoli and baked ranch chicken; I had chicken with Mrs. Dash and kale. No salt, no olive oil...it actually wasn't that terrible, but my husband raved about his meal and I was jealous of the cinnamony goodness on his plate.

I'm so excited that I have 2 more days of this plan! I know it's considered a "crash" diet, but I've always had success with crash diets in the past. I really don't see how they are "bad," as long as you know that you have to continue to eat healthily after. Trust me, a period of restricted eating is perfectly OK after all of the things I consumed during the holidays! 

I swear if I lived closer to my mom, I would be huge! I joked with my husband that when we know we're going to be visiting, we need to diet beforehand. The woman knows how to cook. While visiting my family during Christmastime, she made homemade buttermilk waffles with homemade buttermilk syrup (move over, maple!), her famous hashbrown potatoes, my dad cooked his amazing steaks, Mom made other hors d'oeuvres, and my family had a Mexican potluck for our Christmas dinner. 

Wow! I have driven this train straight off of the tracks! Haha. Can you tell I'm hungry?

The things I would do for one of her waffles right now...

Anyways, "crash diets" work for me, especially after periods of terrible eating. They help me get my eating in check and make me realize that I really don't need the amount of food that I had been eating. 

I'm very excited because I get to replace 30 ounces of my water today with coffee or green tea. I'm gonna be PUMPED!

And, tomorrow's my last day. :)  I'm not going to jump into how I have been eating; I'm going to follow the TIU plan for the rest of this month to see how it works for me. But, I've already planned Friday night's dinner: chicken taco salad and Chipotle guacamole (attempting a copycat recipe). Dinners are the plan are "lean, mean and green": protein, green veggies and healthy fat.

How do you handle holiday eating? How do you get back on track after one too many treats?

NY Resolution: Trying to let go of wedding guilt...6 months later

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move...on.”
― Tupac Shakur

I do the above with every situation. EVERY situation. I analyze everything; I beat myself up about everything. I think about everything I would have done, should have done, could have done...and you know what that does for me?

Nothing.

In the spirit of the new year, I'm going to write about one of my new year's resolutions. Yes, I know resolutions are dumb and cliché, but I'm going to write about something that I really need to work on. Being a writer is not always easy, especially when you decide to write about something that pains you. It makes you vulnerable and it opens you up to critique from others. It's also cathartic and soul-cleansing. Therefore, I write.

I am inexplicably, overwhelmingly always racked with guilt. It paralyzes me, keeps me up at night, makes me feel sick, makes me cry for no reason and makes everyone around me, including my sweet husband, think I'm crazy. Except for my mother, because I seem to have inherited this unfortunate character flaw from my gorgeous mum. (Why couldn't I have inherited the gorgeous-ness?)

She's the only one that understands why I will cry myself to sleep over the dumbest things: things that don't even affect me or things that I can in no way control.

How do you stop feeling guilty about everything? How do you stop feeling guilty and badly for the things you have that others don't, or about things you should have/ shouldn't have said or done?


One of the main things I agonize about daily, six months later, is my beautiful wedding, which I understand is absolutely crazy.

Let me explain.

(Disclosure: This is sure to be a weird post, but writing is cheaper than therapy, which I probably need anyways. While writing this, I laughed, I cried, I became angry at myself and realized how dumb I was being, and I feel like I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Continue with caution.)

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
- Erma Bombeck

Guilt's a funny thing.
My wedding was beautiful, the people I loved were there and, yes I will say it, I looked gorgeous. My bouquet was perfect, my bridesmaids were gorgeous, I had a good eyebrow day, and we rode away from the venue in the kind of car I had always dreamed about that a couple from Chase's church generously offered to us free from charge.

Everything I wanted!

Except, there is a long list of things that I feel guilty about:

1. Not being able to enjoy it. In the days leading up to the wedding, I was running around the state of Oklahoma and trying to unpack that the day seemed to appear out of nowhere. I still haven't watched the recording of my wedding. I feel like my wedding should be a time I look fondly on. I do, for its beauty and getting married to Chase, but I have so much guilt, regret and anxiety about the day. RIDIC.

2. Not being able to spend time with my loved ones. I'm sad I didn't get to spend more time with my mom in the months before my wedding. We lived 5 hours apart from each other, I was in my first year of graduate school, and she was in her first year of teaching. It just wasn't the best time to plan a wedding, therefore I didn't enjoy a lot of it.

3. Not being able to spend time with my bridesmaids. I had grand plans for this, but once my friends from out of state came in, we did last minute things, and since the night before the wedding was still full of running around for stuff, I didn't get to spend time with them like I wanted to. It was rush, rush, rush. But know that I love each and every one of you and can't thank you enough for standing with me on my special day.

4. Not being the nicest to my sister. I'll admit that I was a little bit of a bridezilla. My then 15-year-old sister was my maid of honor, and I would get irritated if she didn't reply immediately to my texts about flowers or shoes. I don't think I was outright mean, but she is a teenager and had her own stuff going on. She also lived 5 hours away, and I didn't get to spend enough time with her either.

5. Having my wedding in Norman. My venue was beautiful and I loved that decor and things were provided, but I also had the wedding in a location away from my family and where Chase grew up. I feel so badly that people had to drive, spend the nights, etc. I was trying to pick the best place for us, guests and my out-of-town guests. When you didn't grow up somewhere, it's hard to pick a spot, especially when everyone is all over the state. And I feel badly. Which leads to...

6. My wedding wasn't what I had envisioned, which is no one's fault. I moved back to Oklahoma when I was 18 and didn't really spend time developing any friendships, except for a few. I'm just not a huge "friend" person. I'm all about family (although my bests feel like family!). It wasn't a typical wedding, I don't think. It wasn't like Chase and I had mutual friends or knew a lot of mutual people. On my side, it was my family and a few friends. I probably would have eloped if it had been up to me (I begged Chase multiple times!), but it was important to him that his family and people from the church he grew up in be able to attend. I had an afternoon wedding and although I had a cute popcorn bar and cake, I didn't have a meal. And I feel guilty for that.

7. I didn't get to do everything I wanted. With some things that occurred during our engagement and the days leading up to the wedding, I just didn't get to do everything I wanted. That was my own fault. I should have planned better.

8. Not being thinner/eating less/working out more/getting beauty treatments, etc. Although I do think I looked good on my wedding day, I wish I had lost more weight. And, I was reminded of that by a person close to me when, during dinner a couple days before my wedding, I put a dress on and she told me, "Only skinny people like ********* can wear those kind of dresses." It was hurtful, but I wore the dang dress in all of my curvy glory. I also wish I would have had facials done, etc., but I just didn't have the money at the time. Like I said before, some things just didn't happen as I had wanted them to. Oh, well.

Me in said dress.

9. It's hard for me to watch wedding shows or talk about weddings with other people or even see things about weddings on Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest. It makes me think of my guilt and regret about everything I did/didn't do. How crazy am I?

 NOW, here are some things I do love and I tell myself daily (because I agonize about my wedding DAILY) that a wedding is about marriage, not a wedding.

1. And, I have a great marriage. I've had people tell me about their first year of marriage and that it was difficult, but we haven't encountered that yet. Chase and I are best friends. We spend every moment we can together. I honestly never though a love like this could exist, as cheesy as that sounds. He just gets me. We respect each other and do things for each other. We love being around each other, we hardly argue, and marriage has felt like the most natural thing for us.

What matters: By the way, during out first dance, we talked about how long our song was and how hungry we were.

2. We have been so blessed this year. Chase has a great job, I've been blessed with my jobs and graduate school, we have a nice place to live, nice vehicles, we live in a great town, can afford the things we need and want, and we are both healthy.

3. We both have great families that would do anything in the world for us. We are close enough to drive to see our families whenever we want.

4. And SOOOO much more.

Don't get me wrong, my wedding was the best day of my life, because I became Chase's wife and get to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm just crazy.

In addition to everything about the wedding, I just feel guilt about everything (and, I mean EVERYTHING) and I'm tired of it. I constantly feel as though everything bad that happens is my fault. It drains me.

Does anyone else suffer from stupid-guiltitus or is just me and my mom? My mom will also feel guilty about the craziest things sometimes, and we both agree we need to find a guilt-anonymous group. Chase has threatened to slap me every time I say "I feel badly." But, I have yet to stop and he has yet to slap me.

How does everyone else handle guilt? 

A Year in Review....

2013 was a great year, don't get me wrong, but I am so excited about the prospect of a new year with new beginnings and new adventures.

2013 was a crazy blend of stress and blessings — we dealt with unemployment, two semesters, wedding planning, a wedding, honeymoon, a new job, moving to a new city, etc. I am SO ready to get 2014 started!

January: I don't remember much about this month, except that I probably spent a lot of it on Pinterest looking at wedding stuff. We went to a bridal fair in Oklahoma City and Chase tagged along. The poor guy kept complaining about his stomach hurting; his mom and I finally convinced him to go to the hospital.

Despite the smile on his face, he had to have his appendix taken out. I did my best to take care of him and nurse him back to health.

February: Hmm....not sure if I remember anything significant about this month. More wedding planning, trying to diet for the wedding (FAIL).

March: I found my wedding dress! I thought it would take forever to pick out my dress, but the third dress I tried on was the perfect one.

April: More wedding planning, I'm sure. School work, going to class, grading papers, etc.

May: Finished my first year of grad school! We also drove to Alabama (in the middle of the night) to spend the week with my family. It was amazing...I'm hoping we can do it again! (hint, hint, Mom, Dad?)

Gulf Shores, Ala.

 

June: When we returned to Oklahoma from Alabama, we stayed with my family for a couple of days before we headed back north. Chase received a phone call during lunch one day. He called the man back later that day said said that a company in Houston wanted him to go to Houston that week for a prospective job in Tulsa. After a few months of unemployment, we were overjoyed! We returned home and had our engagement shoot (I know, I know, last minute) before he flew to Houston. Since his lease was about to expire on his apartment, we had to move all of is belongings to my apartment. The job wasn't finished before he left, so I finished moving/cleaning his apartment before I went to spend time with my family.

 

July: Wedding!!!! But first, Chase returned from Houston after being gone for nearly three weeks. He announced that we had to find a place to live in Tulsa IMMEDIATELY. The following Monday, he went to Tulsa to work, I met him that afternoon, and we looked at places to live. Luckily, we were able to find a nice place with immediate openings. On Friday, we started packing and loading things up and we were moved by Saturday. There were still things to do in Stillwater, so I traveled back in forth. Eventually, we had everything out of the apartment in Stillwater, just in time for my high school besties to arrive and last minute wedding prep. I drove to Oklahoma City to pick them up and we spend the next couple of days doing last minute things. I can honestly say I had never been so stressed. My apartment still wasn't unpacked, I still had wedding stuff to do, and I was trying to spend time with my friends while getting ready for my wedding and packing for the honeymoon. Somehow I survived. People act surprised when I tell them my wedding was super stressful (I still haven't watched the video of our wedding for that reason). But, it wasn't the wedding itself. It was a culmination of everything we had dealt with for the past six months. Even though my wedding day was so beautiful, I was genuinely happy when it was over.

It was so funny — I almost waited until October because I always wanted a fall wedding. But, since we obviously didn't want to live together before we were married, trying to find two apartments wherever we moved was getting troublesome, and since I would be in the middle of a semester, we chose July. And, I'm so happy we did. After we returned from our wonderful honeymoon in Florida, the toughest semester of my life began.

August - December: These months were a blur. My beautiful cousin married the beginning of August and I was blessed enough to do her makeup. She looked gorgeous! My parents celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary on Aug. 15. My parents are my biggest inspiration and I look up to them in so many ways. I celebrated my 26th birthday on Sept. 10 (eek!) and Chase celebrated his 25th on Nov. 8. Yes, he calls me a cradle robber. We did a day after shoot in downtown Tulsa and took some amazing artsy pictures that I am dying to have printed.
I also began my second year of graduate school. I made the commute (3 hours round trip) to Stillwater four times a week and began working on my thesis. I had a hard time with the commuting, keeping everything straight and getting everything done on time. With the great support from my husband and family, I was able to finish the semester with a 4.0. I have never been so happy to have a semester be over! Even though I had a tearful breakdown in the food court of the mall while shopping with his family, I survived. We had a great Christmas with both of our families and are looking forward to celebrating the beginning of a new year.

To all of my friends and family that I have been blessed with, thank you so much for an amazing year! Much love and prayers for an even better year in 2014!

 

WOAH

Hey, y'all!

So, it's officially been a freakin' looong time since I've blogged. I don't even remember the last time I sat down to type out a blog.

So, what's happened?

I completed my thesis proposal, finished my semester with a 4.0, and survived 16 weeks of traveling to Stillwater four times a week.

Yes, yes, I know...cry me a river. I'm fully aware that I'm a big baby. But, it was tough for me! And tough, I'm sure, for my amazing husband who dealt with the many tears and stress-fueled rants and stacks of research strewn throughout the apartment, not to mention way too many sandwiches and pizza. God bless him.

It was so tough, in fact, that I met Chase's family in Oklahoma City for a girls weekend two days after my last final and, I had a meltdown in the food court. A complete, ugly face crying meltdown. You know if I cannot enjoy being in a mall during Christmas-time, there is something wrong. I'm not sure what happened — one minute I was fine, the next I was crying because I was still oh-so-stressed. Everyone was so sweet though, and told me their own stories of stressful meltdowns. It made me feel not so completely crazy!

I'm happy to report that everything is finally done and I have been able to chill with my husband during his week of vacation. I have even been able to watch some trashy reality television. It's been glorious.

Anyways, just checking in! It's good to feel like myself again :)

WIfe Status: Prepping for the week

Before we discuss anything, can we please recognize this????

OOOOOOOMG. Fall is my absolute FAVORITE time of year and I love anything and everything that tastes like pumpkin. I had my first pumpkin spice latte today and before I took a sip, I told Chase, "As soon as I take a drink of this, summer is officially over and it's time for fall."

He looked at me like I was crazy, but I happily welcomed the new season through my delicious coffee drink despite the 90 degree temps outside.

I go pumpkin crazy during the fall — pumpkin food, pumpkin scented candles and wax melts, and anything pumpkin I can get my hands on.

Anyways, now that I've made my devotion to pumpkin known, let's move on.

Last Tuesday, after the long Labor Day weekend, I had the following conversation with the professor I TA for:

Me: Hey! Did you have a nice, long weekend?

Her: I guess, but I kind of hate long weekends.

Me: Why is that?

Her: It just seems like everyone goes crazy and I don't get anything done. I like structure.

Me: Really?

Her: Yes, I almost prefer not having long weekends. I like to keep my routine.

And oddly enough, I think I agree with her. I know this will come as a shock to anyone that knew me during my teenage and early adult years: I was always a total procrastinator with a "why do today what I can do tomorrow" attitude. Now, I like my laundry done, my kitchen clean and dishes put up, meals planned and groceries bought, my apartment clean and my things ready to go for the week. I arrive anywhere at least 15 minutes early, just in case I get caught in traffic or inclement weather.

Last week, I had absolutely nothing done. Chase and I didn't even go grocery shopping. Granted, I did grade papers all weekend and complete some freelance assignments but still. I find that when I'm not organized, I tend to be a little more stressed. And when I don't have meals planned and healthy food ready to go, I eat way too much junk from the student union convenience store.

My life is a bit crazy right now: writing my thesis, TA-ing for 20 hours a week, freelance assignments that take me anywhere from 20-30 hours a week, commuting for 12 hours a week, six hours of class (plus homework, papers, experiments for papers) a week and trying to be an awesome wife (cooking, cleaning, laundry).

 I've been eating a very carb-heavy diet since school began; while Chase's foods of crackers, bread and Apple Jacks are delicious, they neither make me look, nor feel good.

Carbs are definitely not my friend and I made it a point to make sure I had plenty of healthy Paleo-ish items to nosh on.

I spent the entire day today cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and getting my things together (and of course, listening to the hubs whoop and holler for the 'Boys!) and I feel so much better than last week. Bring it on!

Here are some things I do to ensure a successful and healthy week:

I prep, prep, prep as much as I can! I boiled eggs, cut up some cheese, washed fruits and veggies, and prepped items for salads. This way, I can just grab and go!

I try to make lunches the night before. On Mondays, I am away from home from 6:40 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. I plan on eating Greek salads for lunch everyday — this one has romaine and spinach, kalamata olives, pepperoncinis, red onion, grilled lemon chicken, feta cheese, cherry tomatoes, yellow bell pepper and cucumber. The dressing will be red wine vinegar and olive oil.

I sent my mom a picture of my creation and she replied, "Faythe said that's not a salad...'dang, thatta buffet!'" Haha...I take my salads seriously!

Random note. While making my salad today, I thought about my fifth grade teacher. She was an older woman that had traveled the world with her military husband. She ate Greek salads almost daily. She also used to make us do calisthenics during recess because she didn't believe in free play and called us "lackadaisical" (yes, I had to look up the spelling of that word).

I was enamored by her though, and told my mother that I wished I could sit down with her and listen to her adventures. She also told us that to lose weight, girls should eat 1,200 calories a day and 20 grams of fat. I also started counting calories that year — a fact I had never connected until today. Thank goodness I learned better than that!

Anyways, my food is ready to go. I know that I will be eating hardboiled eggs, berries, and salads while I am on campus. I feel kind of silly carrying a lunch box at the (almost) ripe old age of 26, but I prefer to bring my own food rather than scavenge for something healthy in the union. And, let's be honest. I'm also less likely to eat something healthy when bombarded by chips, candy bars and cookies.

I'm trying to get back into the habit of drinking a gallon of water a day, so I have my water bottles filled (with lemon added!) and ready to go.

I also meal plan. For example, I am out of the apartment until late on Mondays and Wednesdays so my poor husband has to fend for himself, but I know that on Tuesday, we're having salmon and sauteed zucchini with brown rice and garlic cheese rolls (carbs for him), and Thursday we're having bbq chicken with mashed potatoes and rolls for him and broccoli for me.

I planned the meals before grocery shopping, so I already know that I have everything to cook dinner those days. On the weekends, we usually eat leftovers, eat at restaurants or throw together things in the kitchen.

I did all of our laundry and ironed Chase's clothes for the week. I also have my nails painted and hair washed and blow dryed (since I have to be up at 5:30 in the morning). I know what I am wearing tomorrow and my backpack and purse are packed and ready to go!

I find that my mornings are less stressed and sometimes I can even enjoy a cup of coffee without feeling as though I am rushing out the door.

How do you prepare for the week? Do you pack lunches or buy them? Any tips?

Back to the grind

Oh man, what a week....

Just let me give you a brief run down....

I had 14 400-word articles due for one of my jobs and a 1,250 word article due this morning.

On Monday, I left Tulsa at 6:40 a.m. and stayed in Stillwater until 7 p.m. I got back home around 8:30 p.m.

On Tuesday, I left my apartment at 8:15 a.m. (although I am going to start leaving at 6:40 a.m.) and jumped on a bus at OSU's Tulsa campus at 9 a.m. and rode the bus to Stillwater. I only had to be there for a couple of hours, so I was back home a little after 2 p.m.

On Wednesdays, I would usually leave my apartment around 8:15 a.m. and get back home at 9:20 p.m., but Chase's mom was in the hospital so we went to see her. We left a little after 8 a.m. and got back home around 7:30 p.m.

Yesterday, I left my apartment at 11:45 a.m., jumped on a bus at 12 p.m. and got back home by 7:30 p.m.

This commuting thing is going to get old very quickly, but luckily it's only for a few months! Every free moment was spent writing and I felt "go, go, go" all week. I asked Chase a couple of weeks ago when things were going to slow down and he replied that they probably wouldn't. He was so right.

It is probably going to take me a few weeks to get adjusted to everything — I love living in Tulsa, but every time I leave Stillwater, I drive by my old apartment and I can't help but think, "I would already be home!"

But, oh well. Today has been spend finishing the article, drinking coffee, watching daytime TV and I just baked an original pound cake —one pound of butter, one pound of sugar and one pound of flour. Yikes! It's good, but the texture isn't quite like a pound cake.

Tomorrow, I have to go back to Stillwater for a class, but Sunday, I plan on relaxing and grilling with my husband! :)

Have a great weekend everyone!

XOXO